Lolloping along, An extinct gait with cracked toes, Brontosaurus feet.

The Beast from the East

The Beast caresses me with icy fingers, but does not bestow me with his inches. Wherefore art thou, Beast? #BeastFromTheEast

Auld lang Syne – the saddest song in the world.

For most of my life New Years Eve has been the booze filled fun time it is for most people. Friends get together, get drunk, sometimes dress up in ridiculous outfits and see in the New Year together, but more recently it seems to be changing. When I was kid, my Nana used to throw…

Best Friends

My friend Dean told me today, over coffee, the he’s just split up with his boyfriend James. “What again?” I say, “This must be like the fourth time?” “Don’t be like that,” he says, but how am I meant to take his suffering seriously if he doesn’t even try to avoid it himself? I’ve told…

The Algorithm

Fifteen years an ex The algorithm found him “People you may know”   Fucking Instagram Showing me his wedding pics “Double tap to like”   Enforced Amnesia Years to mend what was broken Wouldn’t change a thing    

I do wash my hands thereof in innocence

I sit on a bench at the top of the hill looking down over a sea of bracken. Rutting stags bellow across the park, ignoring me, but calling out challenges to each other. The oak trees that line the path up the hill all had their heads chopped off in remembrance of their murdered nine…

Reveal Thyself

A message of love. Its course never did run smooth. Dyslexic Cupid.

Tick Tock

Scattered seeds in dust. Lunar evacuation. A barren wasteland.


ENHANCECO INSURANCE APPRAISAL CASE NUMBER: SE108897 The following evidence was obtained from diagnostic downloads, Video feeds, official reports and personal diary entries of the claimant. VIDEO DESCRIPTION – FEED 33897 “This is Robert Edison, patient 27,” said Dr Bryson to the group of students gathered around the bed. [DR BORIS BRYSON. LEAD PHYSICIAN AND ENHANCECO REP]…

Sincerely, Your Mortician.

Dear Mr Hawkesworth, Thank you for your visit last Thursday. Although your request was rather unusual, We can confirm your wishes are being carried out. Your wife’s body arrived on Saturday morning as arranged and we immediately set about cleaning her up. The skin under her fingernails was tenacious, I do hope you have your…

Nostradamus On Trump.

Nostradamus was a jolly chap. His predictions made hundreds of years ago have been used to retrospectively prove his powers. Hindsight is a great thing and his predictions are sufficiently vague enough to be interpreted to mean just about anything you like. So here are a few of his predictions that could be related to…